Today we’re looking at 5 steps to shed a toxic self image.
The image that you have in your head of what you look like, probably isn’t true.
We’re easily influenced by our own self doubts, by the media, by what our friends and family say and of course by how we feel physically (hormones, menopause etc).
Its no wonder that when faced with a new photo of ourselves we become overly critical and rather than celebrate how wonderfully unique we are, we turn to nit picking the stuff we don’t like.
A toxic self image can turn a fun experience, like a photo shoot, into a nightmare of self esteem draining terror.
- You refuse to be in any photos
- You’re overly critical of even the smallest imperfections
- You don’t look at the bigger picture, just the things that a wrong.
It’s about healthy self-esteem
The term self-esteem is used to describe a person’s overall sense of self-worth or personal value. In other words, how much you appreciate and like yourself.
So next time you’re questioning how you look, ask yourself these 5 things:
Is it true?
Are the things you’re telling yourself even true?
To be seen on Instagram or on Video do you have to be a certain “look”? Do you have to be slim, tanned and attractive (in the model sense) and young?
Has how you look stopped you booking clients, or meeting them in person?
Whilst having a Pinterest perfect life might work for some of these infleuencer, it’s not real life.
No one else is expecting you to look at certain way!
Does the thing you’re focussed on even matter?
I had a client recently who had one tooth slightly shorter than the same tooth at the other side. It was her ‘thing’ – it was the one thing she concentrated on even though she had beautiful white teeth, a stunning smile and
I can guarantee no one else noticed this tooth. We look at the whole package. And we respond to emotion and facial expressions rather than concentrating on the little details or imperfections (which by the way, are exactly what makes you unique).
Are you avoiding mirrors?
Avoiding mirrors, photographs and even just being seen outside without a full face of make-up leads to you not really being used to how you look.
And I know that sounds ridiculous…because how can you possibly avoid looking at yourself. But you’d be surprised.
If you don’t regularly see how you actually look in photographs, it can be a bit of a surprise when you’re faced with a whole gallery of images.
So even if you take selfies that never see the light of day. Get used to your lovely face.
Who are you comparing yourself to?
I know it’s easier said than done, but comparing yourself to anyone else just isnt helping.
A while ago I decided to stop following other Branding Photographers. It wasn’t helping me. It just made me doubt myself, doubt my skills as a photographer and to be quite honest, feel like crap.
The same goes for either comparing yourself to how you looked 10 years ago, or to someone you admire. You’re not them.
Have you worked on your mindset?
It’s all related to your mindset and your self worth. So it would make sense that it’s something you can work on. A skill that you can learn.
Check out these books that I’ve found really useful:
Girl Stop Apologising – Rachel Hollis
You are a Badass – Jen Sincero
The Body is not an apology – Sonya Renee Taylor
Untamed – Glennon Doyle
How to Stop Feeling like sh*t – Andrea Owen
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And when you’re ready, here are three ways that I can help you:
1) Visit my blog for tips on VISIBILITY.
Every week I discuss strategies to improve your visibility, get over your fear of visibility and my latest shoots. Read here
2) Plan a bespoke photoshoot.
We can plan a shoot based on what you actually need (read more) or you could join me at a Branding Day.
3) Join ‘Visibility School’.
Visibility school is a membership group where you get 12 months of photoshoots, a fab little Facebook group and a Visibility Toolkit (new for 2022 members) . Read
