I stood at the front of the class & said “I collect teaspoons”…

And I’m not even exaggerating when I say the whole class laughed. And why wouldn’t they…what 8 year old collected teaspoons in the 80’s?

Everyone else collected sweet smelling erasers, Star Wars figurines or Care Bears.

Even my best friend Helen laughed too…

So, obviously I went bright pink & burst in to tears…and there ended my career in public speaking.

I have honestly never stood in front of people to talk and not thought of it…and gone a shameful shade of puce.

I actually bumped into someone from school 15 years later and he asked if I still had my teaspoons. What a shit-head.

(though I was particularly gratified he was on his 3rd wife and had had a couple of spells in prison… might not quite be true about the wives..)

How is it that one stupid moment like that can define how you see yourself?

It wasn’t really until many years later that I overcame the fear (to some extent anyway)…and I’ve found it comes down to 3 things…

Work on your mindset

What are you actually afraid of?

For me, it’s the fear of looking stupid or getting things wrong. I’m a proper people pleaser and just don’t want to disappoint anyone.

But I always remind myself of “what is the actual worse that can happen” And I literally write down the most vomit inducing things I can think of..

• I’ll embarrass myself
• People will laugh
• no one will like me
• people will know I’m no expert

I also write down why I need to do the scary thing.

Without visibility I can’t afford to pay my mortgage. No one would know who I am, and I’d get no bookings. And I’m very clear I’m running a business, not just a hobby.

And then hopefully, with my new found sense of courage I get on with it…even if it’s just in a small way.

Small acts of visibility

You don’t have to dive right into public speaking or doing a “live” on Facebook.

Hell, you don’t even have to post photos of your face, it could just be your hands holding a book, or a cup of coffee.

It could be a simple as starting to blog more often and being honest and helpful.

Maybe make a promise to yourself to post on LinkedIn twice a week.

Get yourself out to meet other business owners in real life (join with a friend and choose a relaxed networking group like Business Brunch Club).

But the main thing is to have a plan and be consistent. Visibility just doesn’t work unless you do…even if it’s just a little bit at a time.

Forget perfection…think real

• Not everyone’s going to be a fan.
• Not everyone’s going to get it.
• You’re probably going to make some mistakes.
• You may feel and even be awkward (at first).
• Some people are going to tell you that you need to be doing it differently, or that you’re not “okay” just as you are.

But it’s better to be the real you, than to constantly beat yourself up for some imagined perfection that you can never live up to.

And when it comes down to it…nothing feels as good as when you take the plunge. And you start to see the benefits of being visible:

• Connecting with the right clients
• Increased income
• More opportunities
• new Business buddies

And now when I think back to that day I realise that it’s ok.

Kids are idiots.

I’m not that shy little girl, however much my subconscious tries to convince me. And its ok to get it wrong.

Maryanne

——-> PS want 2020 to be your most visible year ever? Take a look at VISIBILITY SCHOOL